Eggs in a basket

I am often warned by my friends that I put too much emotional attachments into every day encounters; more specifically potential romantic encounters. At my core, I am a romantic. I truly believe that my heart, body and soul will find someone to connect with and that through this connection we will find love and the trivial life experiences will become easier to handle. I am not unrealistic to believe that all these connections will happen at once or be infinitely sustained throughout a relationship, but I do think it’s possible. I honestly believe that one can enrich their experience through a genuine connection with another person. Perhaps I have been “corrupted by Hollywood” or the imaginations of other idealists, but I allow myself the luxury of thinking that this kind of connection may be around the next corner. That’s where, I am told, I make my gravest mistake.

It is through this belief that I allow myself to look for small ironies that I can attach myself to and think the “universe” is sending me a sign. These inevitably lead to small heartbreaks that somehow haven’t managed to quell my hope for the “ultimate connection.” More importantly when I see/feel one of these signs, I shut out all options. I am the purest from of a monogamist; if I even sense the possibility of a connection, I will inevitably “put all my eggs in that basket.” Many times I have been warned and many times I have experienced this inevitable failure, but I don’t seem to be able to change my pattern. Perhaps keeping my options open would make the sting of the failed connection less, but then I am not giving my all and what fun is that?

Does it really matter? Will whether or not I put my all into every potential encounter really make a difference in finding “the one”? Who knows, I guess, time will tell.

Maybe I am making a mountain out of a molehill, or maybe I am just trying to prevent myself from being bitter about the fact that I am being stood-up… again.