Dating – take it easy… Who are they kidding?

Let’s do a reality check. The purpose of ‘dating’ is to meet someone that you could potentially spend the rest of your life with. No pressure there, right? Ha!

Come on, there is nothing “relaxing” about forcing people to put themselves on display and “sell” themselves to another. Companies spend millions (if not billions) of dollars each year to make sure that the public buys their image and their products. If we dwarf the budget a bit, how is dating any different?

Just like corporate marketing, dating is a game. It’s about putting your best attributes forward, downplaying the traits that might take a little time to get used to and placing yourself on display; all the while you are interviewing, perceiving, testing and gauging the other person… AND people tell you to relax? Ha!

Isn’t it funny that the ones who assure you that the pressure is off are the ones who are partnered/married/coupled and aren’t in the dating scene any more? Sure, they’ve been there and done it, but they stressed just as much as everyone else.

Don’t get me wrong, dating is fun and the excitement abounds, but there are times when I think our* ancestors had something right when the came up with the prearranged marriage idea. It simplifies the rules of the game, gives the participant no option and takes the pressure off to some extent.

I mean, who would I be to complain if my mother decided it was time for her to find me a man to settle down with? Anyone who knows her, knows that she has excellent taste in gay men and would be more than happy to marry me off to a hot one just to raise the beauty factor in the family photos. Yes, I am kidding… kind of.

In any case, the point is this: dating is hard, it’s a lot of work. One hopes that in the end it will be worth it, but in the meantime, let’s do all we can to help take some of that pressure off ourselves and each other.

*by our, I mean my Jewish ancestors

Eliciting Childhood Dreams

As children we are taught to dream. We are instructed to create stories and fantasy worlds that entertain us and make life worth living. In the days when a backyard can turn into the surface of the moon, a rain forest or a fantasy island we (as children) smile. We believe that the world belongs to us and no care or concern is trivial enough to matter (except maybe how mad little Johnny down the street may be when he realizes we didn’t give back his toy machine gun.) We smile, we laugh, we cry and most of all, we believe.

As an adult, I find that that belief is harder to come by. My days are no longer filled with daring missions to the moon or escaping the wrath of the evil Lord _______ (you fill in the blank.) Instead I fight to remind myself that somewhere locked deep within me is that child-like dreamer; somewhere deep inside is that creative individual that can turn a rainy Sunday afternoon into a dream-like paradise. I sit behind my desk and attempt to make a difference in the world, but even that talented, youthful dreamer can’t convince me that auditing regulations are anything more than the dry, boring reality that they are…

Where is this going? It’s going to afternoons and early evenings spent locked in other people’s realities as I escape the life that is supposed to be mine , it’s going to the movies that have become my safe haven from the world that has become my reality and it is going to the question: what am I going to do about it?

I, much like I hope the rest of you will, am going wake-up the child that lays sleeping somewhere inside me. I’m going to take him on a trip to “mental Disneyland” where I am going to ask him to help me dream up a new reality; one filled with things that are going to make me smile, people that are going to help me laugh and tasks that are going to make a difference. It’s going to a time when I look forward to my days with the same anticipation and excitement that I used to have as a child, it’s going to that face that stares at me every morning and instead of saying “this again?” says “This again!”. So simple, yet so hard. Who’s with me?

Life’s little miracles

It is often said that miracles are hard to find, I beg to differ. It hit me last night as I lie awake unable to fall asleep, that I am surrounded by miracles. They are my friends, they are the connections that I have made and sustained, they are the people that exist in my life and make each day special. From the people that I see and/or interact with daily to those that pop-up once in a blue-moon; they are all small miracles…

Each person on their own is unique and special, but the fact that we found each other, co-exist and are able to depend on each other for the little things (a hug when we’re down, a smile when we’re sad, the motivation to make it through the hard times) makes our interactions little miracles.

Perhaps it is just the rambling of a tired mind, but it’s in moments like these that I value each and every person that is in my life. Thanks.

Return to Fitness

Ok, I made myself a little promise… Once I was able to return to working out/swimming/whatever my weak excuse for attempting to get in shape is, I would stop writing anything about my run-in with a few of the fantastic citizens of the District back on May 22nd. So, officially (I hope) this will be the last time I bring it up; it’s time to move on.*

I returned to the gym last week and began with my usual “dedication”. I.E. I went to a few classes (pilates, spinning, an abs class), began attempting to run and fooled around a bit on the weights. After almost 2 months of not working out, I figured I could “ease” my fat ass back into the gym and not give it too much of a shock. (Who am I kidding, I have never liked going to the gym; this is just another in a long line of excuses.) Much to my surprise, things were easier that I expected…

I had company (my fantastic and amazing co-worker , FAC), which made all the difference. The big surprise however, came when, after spinning and doing a circuit of weights, FAC and I decided to have our body mass composition done. I had VERY low expectations and was pleasantly surprised when it turned out that I only have 8.4% body fat and am still considered to have “an athletic physique”. Amazing! Granted, I still feel fat, but I’m sure that feeling will fade in time as well…

However, the REAL winner is FAC. In under 4 months she has lost over 30 pounds, dropped numerous waist sizes, looks amazing and is happier. A true inspiration. It goes to show what dedication, positive thinking and the right support network can accomplish.


*I reserve the right to rescind that and comment whenever I want, and since this was only a promise to myself, I won’t feel like I let anyone down if I actually do make future comments.